Gone
by misakitakahashi34
Summary: Souichi didn't want Morinaga to be gone but can he fix things before it's too late ?
1. chapter 1

Morinaga wasn't there when I entered the lab today, as promised . Good. If that bastard had the audacity to show up after what he did ...I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from killing him , I thought to myself as I walked over to check on the experiments . I stopped in my tracks and let out a growl . " The damn bastard hasn't been doing shit ! I'll kill him for sure !" I yelled out loud . With that in mind , I set off to gather the ingredients needed to make a deadly posion . Once I had them all in front of me , I eagerly mixed them together , and poured the contents into a test tube . I let out a murderous laugh. " Aha ! If he even drinks a drop of this , he'll be dead within minutes !" Eventually my laughter died down and I slumped back dowinto my lab chair . " Ugh I can't make him drink it if he's not here ..." Damn it , that idiot somehow manages to ruin my day even when he's not around .

The whole week went by like that , with no sign of Morinaga . To tell the truth , I was slightly worried but I figured the bastard was just being stubborn. It wasn't until one of his classmates stopped me on the way to the lab that I pieced things together in my mind . The classmate told me that Morinaga hadn't being coming to his classes either . I had a good idea of what was happening but I refused to believe it until I had absolute proof. My suspicions were confirmed when I went to the school's office and was informed by the attendant that he filed for temporary leave . Apparently the bastard had wanted to quit school completly at first. Damn it . I know I told him I didn't want to see him again but I never meant for him to stop going to school . No , I wasn't happy with this at all . That evening after school , I decided to stop by Morinaga's apartment, just in case .I rang his buzzer and waited a few seconds . When there was no response , I rang it again , this time shouting into the reciever . " Morinaga I need to talk to you !" Silence. " Damn it ! Answer me now!" I realized he wasn't going to answer so as a last resort , I tried to turn the door handle . I wasn't shocked to find that the door was locked but I was shocked to see that the mail box was overflowing . It became clear that Morinaga was gone and by look of it ... has been gone for a few days already .

But despite that , it didn't stop me from going over to his apartment everyday , hoping he'd come back . I even managed to contact his family but they haven't seem him either . Worrying was eating at me . He could at least contact someone to let them know he was okay ... even if that person wasn't me ! As the weeks went by ... I grew more and more desperate . I knew it was pointless to go back again but I couldn't fight the urge . I slammed my fist down onto the countertop . " Damn it . This is the last time and then I'm not going anymore ! This is ridiculous !" I threw off my lab coat and stomped out the door . It was time for him to come back so we could work things out ... I was wrong too... I admit it . As I walked it started to rain , lightly at first then roughly pouring down along with loud claps of thunder. Suddenly , I heard a loud siren and an ambulance zoomed past me . It looked like it was heading for ... Morinaga's !

The next thing I knew I was running , my shoes slapping harshly against the concrete . My heart was pounding so much that it hurt but I didnt stop until I bumped into a police officer . I was outside Morinaga's apartment . I grabbed roughly onto his shoulder to get his attention . " What the hell is going on here ?!" I yelled in a panic . " Sir... please calm down . We received a call about a gunshot going off so we are just here to investigate." My breath caught in my throat and I started to choke , tears had started to leak from my eyes now . No . This wasn't happening . I ran past the cop and began to push my way through the crowd of paramedics . I was nearly there when I felt arms pull me back . " Sir ... I can't let you go in there . " Using all my strength I tried to pull away but failed. " My friend's in there . I have too ! Now let me go! I yelled , kneeing the paramedic in the crotch . Once I was out of his grip , I ran into Morinaga's apartment , just in time to see paramedics lift him up onto a stretcher. His eyes were open but they weren't moving. He wasn't moving. There was a puddle of blood on the floor and blood was splattered against the wall . I could feel the tears soaking my skin now . The room was spinning . I was spinning . Everything was spinning . It was too much . My knees gave out and I felt myself hit the ground . I let out a sharp piercing scream . " Morinaga!" . Then suddenly the room went dark and I couldn't tell where I was anymore .


	2. Chapter Two

When I opened my eyes , I quickly realized that I was in an unfamilar room . I looked around the room nervously for anything that could tell me where I was . All of the walls were a dingy off white color and on the right of my bed was a nightstand with a single glass of water on top . When I looked to my left side , I saw a single blue armchair . In front of me was a flat screen tv that was mounted to the wall. None of that told me where I was though . It wasn't until I noticed the white bracelet hanging loosely from my wrist that read" Eastside Hospital ." That it all came back to me . Images flooded my mind of parmedics and cops outside Morinaga's apartment , me pushing past crowds of people to get to the apartment, Morinaga laying in a pool of his own blood and lastly me passing out . Luckily, the doctors kept me in my normal clothes because I quickly jumped up from the bed and stormed out into the hallway of the hospital .

" Morinaga ! Where the fuck are you ?! " I shouted into the hallway . I was probably disturbing other patients but it didn't matter .All that mattered was Morinaga. I had to find Morinaga . But I had no clue where to even began looking damn it . Luckily , I spotted a nurse coming out of one of the rooms and ran up behind her , grabbing her shoulder . I felt her flinch under my touch before she turned to face me and asked in a gentle voice " Are you okay sir ? Do you need help ?" I released my hold on her shoulder . " Yes ... I need to find my friend Testuhiro Morinaga ...he had an accident but I passed out and now I don't know where he is . " I explained , trying to stay calm . " Oh okay . If you want I can show you to the reception office and they should be able to look him up for you . Just follow me ." Nodding , I followed her down the long hallway and into an elevator . " The office is on the 1st floor so it will be quicker if we take an elevator ." " Ok." About a minute later , the doors opened and the nurse walked over to the receptionist desk . I followed quickly behind her. A lady with dark curly hair and glasses looked up from typing . "Hi . Can I help you with anything ? " " Yes ... I ran into a patient in the hall ..." the nurse spoke , gesturing to me . " And he seems to be having some trouble finding his friend . Can you look him up ?" " Ah ... of course . What's your friend's name ? " she asked , glancing at me . " Morinaga Tetsuhiro. " I replied.

The nurse excused herself and I watched as the receptionist typed away at her keyboard for several seconds before she stopped . " It seems that your friend was checked in a few hours ago ." I knew it . I knew he would be here . I felt a grin tug at my lips . I would finally be able to tell Morinaga that I forgive him . "Let me just see what room he's in for you ." She began typing again , this time for a little longer . Once she stopped , she looked up at me with a slight furrow in her brows . My grin fell at the sight . Something wasn't right . Did Morinaga already check out ? I clenched my fists at the thought . That bastard was still avoiding me even after something like this ?! The receptionist spoke again , snapping me out of my thoughts . " I don't really know how to say this but Tetsuhiro Morinaga is listed here as deceased . I'm sorry sir ." I felt a sharp pain run through my chest at her words . I couldn't believe it . I refused to believe it . Morinaga can't be dead . Morinaga was strong and would never let himself die so easily . Enraged , I slammed my fist down onto the desk . " You're lying ! Don't fucking lie to me !" I yelled . " I-I ..I'm not lying sir . It says here that your friend died 20 minutes after being brought in . I'm sorry ! " She replied with a shaking voice. I narrowed my eyes and lunged at her , roughly grabbing onto the front of her shirt. "Filthy fucking lies . Now tell me where my friend is now . Before I strangle you to death . " I growled out and stared into her eyes with killing intent . From the corner of my eye I saw her hand move to a small red button and smack against it . Suddenly a loud alarm echoed through the hospital . " You fucking bitch!" I shouted , moving my hands to her neck and squeeze with a deathly grip . " You fucking cunt ! I'll kill you!" Suddenly I felt myself being pulled away from the gasping receptionist .I peered over my shoulders and saw that I was being pulled away by two security guys . " Let me go ! Let me go now !" I screamed but was ignored . Moments later , I was thrown harshly into another unknown room but before I could react the door slammed shut . I stormed up to the door and tried to twist the knob but it was locked . Damn it . I started to pound both my fists against the door . " You bastards! Once I get out of here I'm gonna rip off your cocks with my bare hands and force you to eat them ! You hear me ?! Let me the fuck out !" I pounded at the door until my knuckles started to bleed . Which was only a few minutes due to the strength of my punches . I moved away from the door and slumped against the wall with a sigh . I had to calm down if I was going to get out of this lunatic hospital and find Morinaga . I began to take deep breaths and eventually I felt myself calm down ... just in time for a middle aged man holding a clipboard and wearing a grey suit to enter the room.

" Are you Tatsumi Souichi?" the man asked . I stayed silence for a moment before answering with caution . " Yeah ... that's me . Why ? What do you want with me ?" I asked , narrowing my eyes . " Calm down Mr . Tatsumi . My name is Dr. Reinold.I just want to talk to you . Please come sit down ." He said , gesturing to a small table with two chairs , moving to sit down in one . Reluctantly , I sat down across from him and folded my arms across my chest . " Firstly , I think you'll find it in your fortune that Ms. Potters has decided not to press charges despite you blatantly attacking her ." I rolled my eyes . " I'm thrilled." He continued . " Secondly , I'd like to offer my condolences about your friend's death ." " Morinaga isn't dead . " I snapped . Dr. Reinold lowered his clipboard to the title and looked into my eyes . " I know it's a hard thing to accept but you need to listen to me . Your friend shot himself and when neighbors heard the gunshot they called the 911 and he was taken to the hospital but it was too late to save him . He died twenty minutes after he arrived. I'm sorry but that's the truth ." I grit my teeth . These people were fucking nuts . " Morinaga wouldn't do that .You're crazy." " But he did Souichi . You passed out at the scene from trauma and now you're in denial ." I lowered my head and hid my eyes behind my bangs . " I don't believe you ." I heard the doctor sigh . " That's fine . You'll believe me soon enough because I need you to come identify the body ." My head snapped up "What the hell ? If your so adamant that Morinaga is dead then you don't need me to identify a body. " " We know that the body we have is Morinaga's but it's just a precaution." Fine . I'd play his game . There probably wasn't even a body at all and when I go to identify the " body" it will have somehow magically gone missing . I laughed inwardly at the thought . " Fine . But let's make this quick . " " Great. Just follow me down to the basement ."

The doctor led me down a medium sized staircase and stopped in front of a large metal door . " I'm obligated to tell you that while we did our best to make the body presentable , there is a still a fairly large wound on his head which might be shocking or disturbing to you . So please take as much time as you need to mentally prepare before you enter . " I scoffed . " Yeah , yeah . Let's just get this over with ." ' _So I can go find the real_ _Morinaga_ ' I added silently. " If you insist ..." He replied , pushing open the door and leading me to a long metal table where a body appeared to laying underneath a white sheet . They actually stole some poor sap's body . Why were they going so far ? These people are fucking sick . " Are you ready , Mr . Tatsumi? " " Yes just hurry up . " I watched as the doctor slowly pulled the sheet away to reveal the body's face . And when he did I felt my whole body tense up before it shut down completly and my knees gave out , causing me to collapse onto the cold concrete floor . I felt tears well up in my eyes . I was too defeated to fight them so I just let flow freely , cascading down my cheeks and leaving wet spots on concrete floor . I let out a choked sob and pounded my already injured fist into the concrete , reopening the wounds ." Damn it Morinaga! How am I supposed to forgive you if you're dead you idiot?!" I cried out . There was no way I could deny this now . There was no where I could go to hide from this anymore. That body was Morinaga's. Morinaga was dead . Morinaga was gone and he wasn't coming back.

Honestly was a little bit shocked when I looked today and saw that there was reviews . I didn't expect anyone to actually leave a review or even really read this . I was actually about to delete this story but after seeing they reviews , I decided to keep it up and continue writing it . And I would have updated this sooner if I realized that people were actually reading it and wanting to know what happened . And even though one of the reviews were in Spanish , I really appreciate them and I was glad when I saw them so thank you :)


	3. Chapter Three

It's been roughly a week since I found out that Morinaga died . And his funeral is in six hours . I knew that I should have already been asleep but everytime I close my eyes all I can see is Morinaga's lifeless face as he lays in a puddle of blood .Fresh tears began to leak from my eyes . I'm suprised I have any tears left with how much crying I've been doing lately . I just can't believe that Morinaga is actually dead ... and he took his own life . I just can't bring myself to understand why he would do something like this .Everytime I saw him he looked so happy ...even when I yelled at him. So why ?! Was it ... my fault ? Did what I said really hurt him that badly? I never meant to make him feel like he needed to die . I was just so angry and I know I said I didn't want to see him again but ... I never wanted this to happen . If I hadn't said those words that day ... would Morinaga still be here ? In a rush of anger I slammed my fist into the side of my head . " Damn it Souichi ! Why did you have to say that ?! " I yelled into my pillow . I cried silently into my pillow for several minutes before I drifted off to sleep .

A knock on my door jolted me out of my sleep and I sat up in my bed , rubbing at my eyes . " What do you want ?" I groaned . " Niisan It's time to get up , we have to leave in an hour ." Kanako called from outside the door . " Alright . I'm up ." I replied , opening the door and pushing past Kanako . " I'm gonna take a shower . " Once I was in the bathroom , I turned on the water , making sure it was warm , before shedding my clothes and stepping in . The warm water felt really good and I felt myself relax as it washed over me . After washing my body, I reached over and picked up the shampoo Kanako bought me and lathered it in my hands before spreading it throughout my hair . I rinsed my hair for several minutes until I was sure it was all out before adding conditioner. Even after the conditioner was rinsed out my hair , I decided to linger in the shower for a little while ... I wasn't ready to leave the warmth yet . This was the first time I relaxed in days . I let out a content sigh and sunk down to the floor of the shower , closing my eyes as I let the water rain down on me , as if to wash away all my troubles .

Several minutes later , I turned of the shower and stepped out ,wrapping a towel around my waist . Afterall , I had to face reality whether I liked it or not .I quickly brushed my teeth before I started to blow dry and brush my hair . I ended up deciding to leave my hair down, not really feeling like tying it up into my usual ponytail. Once I was done , I went back into my bedroom to get dressed. I pulled a black pair of socks and matching black boxers out of my dresser . I set the socks down on my bed and pulled on the boxers. Opening up my closet , I pulled out a black suit and a white dress shirt along with a black tie . I begrudgingly put on the suit and examined myself in the mirror . It was a little big but it would have to be good enough. I only bought this suit after Kanako lectured me about " the importance of owning a suit." I'd hoped that if I ever had to wear this it'd be at Kanako's wedding someday but instead I was wearing it to a funeral. My only friend's funeral . My bestfriend . The only person I could really bond with , besides Kanako and Matsuda but somehow it was ... just different with Morinaga . I sighed for what felt like the millionith time this week and sat down on the edge of my bed , pulling on my socks . Damn it . I really was starting to miss that idiot . I never realized how empty my life would feel without him in it until now . I ignored the tears threatening to spill from my eyes and slipped on a pair of simple black dress shoes then walking out my door .

When I walked outside , Kanako and Matsuda were already in the car waiting for me . I decided to sit next to Kanako in the backseat . The majority of the car ride was silent until Matsuda pulled into the parking lot of the church . Matsuda spoke up . " Are you going to be okay?" What kind of question was that ... of course I'm not okay . " Yeah ... I'll be fine ." I muttered in response , stepping out of the car with Kanako following behind me . As I walked towards the building , I felt Kanako's hand slide into mine ." It's okay Niisan. I'm here for you always . " I squeezed her hand lightly in appreciation . " Thank you , Kanako ." We walked hand in hand into the lobby of the church . I was slightly caught off gaurd by the amount of people there was . There looked there had to be over fifty people there at least . Well... Morinaga was a pretty popular guy . The next thing I noticed was a large projector set up in the front of the lobby displaying a slideshow with pictures of Morinaga as music played in the background. I let go of Kanako's hand and walked over to a table set up in the corner that held bottles of water , a tray of cookies and a box of tissues . I grabbed a water and took small sips out of it . I must have been more thirsty than I thought because in a matter of seconds the bottle was empty .I tossed the bottle away in a nearby trash can before turning my attention to the slideshow in front of me .

A picture of Morinaga as a baby came onto the screen . He was sitting in a highchair with a cake in front of him that had a single blue candle on top. My lips formed into a small smile . This was the first time I ever saw a baby picture of him.

 _We'll do it all ,_ _everything ... on our own ._

The next photo showed Morinaga in the same highchair but this time completly covered in cake with a goofy grin on his face . This one made me let out a small laugh . Babies were always messy but only Morinaga could manage to cover himself from head to toe in cake .

 _We don't need anything or anyone ..._

This time a video came up on the screen . Morinaga was standing up , his small hands pressed against the wall for support while his mother I'm assuming , stretched out her arms . " Come on you can do it honey . Come to momma ." She coaxed . Upon hearing her voice , Morinaga pulled his hands away from the wall , stumbling slightly , before walking a couple of steps into his mother's arms . Morinaga's first steps .

 _If I lay here ... If I just lay here ... would you lie with me and just forget the world ?_

The video faded into an image of Morinaga standing in front of a yellow bus , the blue straps of his oversized backpack were visible on his shoulders and he held a spiderman lunchbox in his right hand . His left hand was formed into a thumbs up and he was looking at the camera with a shit eating grin .

 _I don't quite know how to say , how I feel ..._

As the slideshow progressed , I noticed that Morinaga was always smiling . Smiling as he opened presents on Christmas , laughing as he rode a bike for the first time and even as a doctor stuck a needle in his arm . Most kids would have been crying but not Morinaga . I reached over for a tissue and wiped away a few tears that had escaped . He was certainly peculiar but that's what made him special . That's what made him Morinaga .

 _Those three words are said too much ... they're not enough_

 _If I lay here ... if I just lay here ... Would you lie with me would you lie with me and just forget the world ?_

A few minutes later , a photo of Morinaga smiling and holding a highschool diploma came onto the screen . The slideshow would be coming to an end soon . I felt my heart clench in my chest . I didn't want it to end ... because the end of the slideshow would signify the end of Morinaga's life . I want it go on forever .

 _Forget what we're told before we get too old , show me a garden that's bursting into life_

As more photos passed , I let my tears flow freely , not even bothering to wipe them away . Pictures of Morinaga posing in his cap and gown with various people that I couldn't recongnize , A video of Morinaga tossing his cap into the air with a loud laugh , Morinaga holding a box labeled " silverware" as he stood in front of his apartment with a proud smirk and some selfies he took with his friends at the university .

 _Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads_

 _I need your grace to remind me to find my own_

 _If I lay here...If I just lay here... would you lie with me_

 _and just forget the world?Forget what we're told_

 _before we get too old...show me a garden_

 _that's bursting into life_

Before finally , the last image came onto the screen before fading to black . A sharp pain jabbed at my chest at the sight and I gripped the front of my suit into my fist. It was a picture of me and Morinaga. Morinaga had his arm draped over my shoulder and the other arm was stretched out to hold the camera . He was looking at the camera with a full toothed grin . My arms were crossed in front of my chest and I was glaring at the camera . I remember the day he took that photo. He came into the lab and was practically on his knees begging me to take a picture with him. Apparently he wanted to make some sort of photo album and I was the only one he didn't have a picture with yet.Even though I kept refusing , he wouldn't take no for an answer ... so I gave in and took the photo with him to shut him up . Thinking about it now ... I know that if I could have Morinaga back by my side...I'd take a million photos with him if he asked.

 _All that I am ...All that I ever was_

 _Is here in your perfect eyes,_

 _they're all I can see...I don't know where_

 _Confused about how as well_

 _Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

 _If I lay here ...If I just lay here_

 _Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

And I'd smile in every single one . But now I'll never get the chance . I took the crumpled up tissue in my hand and wiped away my remaining tears . All of a sudden , a hand touched my shoulder , causing me to jump . " Woah . Sorry I didn't mean to scare you . Were you a friend of Tetsuhiro's ? " I turned in the direction of the voice. " Ah ... that's fine . Yes ... he was my lab assistant in University. My name is Souichi Tatsumi ." I replied , extending my hand . He placed his hand in mine , shaking it lightly before pulling away . " Nice to meet you . I'm Kunihiro. Tetsuhiro's older brother . Anyway , the funeral is about to start , we should both go take our seats now ." I nodded and followed him into the main room of the church. I quickly scanned the room , looking for Kanako and Matsuda . Once I found them , I sat down beside them in the pew , just as the minister began to speak .

Hiya ! So that's chapter three ... I hope you like it and didn't find it too boring. I know it was probably a little corny but I hope you enjoyed it anyways . In the next chapter will be Morinaga's funeral . Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up sometime tomorrow or the next day . Thank's for reading :)


	4. Chapter four

I sat down next to Kanako and Matsuda , just as the minister began to speak . " Ladies and Gentlemrn , we have gathered here today to honor the life of Tetsuhiro Morinaga , as well as provide comfort to the friends and family that have been left grief stricken by his sudden death . It is only natural to feel sad at the loss of Tetsuhiro in our lives but today is also a day to remember the many ways in which Tetsuhiro has brightened your lives . I never did have the pleasure to know Tetsuhiro but I did have the have the opportunity to speak with his family over the past fews days . Despite that , I realize that I am not the most fitting person to speak to you about Tetsuhiro so I'd like to take this opportunity to give his loved ones a chance to speak before we continue . " The priest moved aside and the man from earlier moved to stand behind the podium .

" Ah ... where should I start ? Tetsuhiro was ...the best little brother I could ever ask for ...in more ways than one .He had a smile that could melt even the most icy heart and his laughter would bring joy to anyone who heard it . He was kind , generous and always so full of love.He was always there for me even when I didn't deserve it . Over the past few years ...I'll be honest and say that I haven't had the best relationship with my little brother . I regret that more that more than ever now that he's gone... and the pain I feel is like nothing I've ever felt before . It feels like I'm being crushed from the inside. And if he was here with me now , I'd hold him tight and never let him go . But I can't do that so ... Little bro , if you're listening ... I love you and miss you more than you could ever imagine. My only regret is not telling you sooner . Wherever you are ... I pray that you're happy with all my heart and please remember that I'll always love you . Rest in peace , my beloved brother . " Tears were streaming down his face as he finished and a sharp pain coursed through my ribcage. If I was in this much pain , I can only imagine how much he must be suffering ." Thank you, that was beautiful." the priest said gently , handing him a small of pack of tissues , before he took his place behind the podium and Kunihiro stood awkwardly behind him .

The voice of the priest once again echoed through the church , knocking me out of my thoughts . " The pallbearers may now come forward . " I watched as five people rose from the front pew and joined Kunihiro. Each moved to stand at either side of the casket that was sitting behind the minister's podium . On one side was a middle aged man and women , followed by Kunihiro.Those must be his parents . And on other side were three boys that I didn't recognize. One with blonde hair , another with light brunette hair and the other with deep black hair . Once they started to move the minister motioned for everyone else to follow . I rose from my seat and I suddenly felt dizzy so I reached over to clasp Kanako's shoulder to steady myself ." Are you okay Nii san ? " She whispered . " I'm okay. " I replied moving my hand from her shoulder and into her hand as we followed the others out of the church . Once outside , I immediately took notice of the weather. It was sunny and warm but not hot because a pleasant breeze was in the air .The next thing I noticed was Morinaga's casket being loaded into a hearse . I gulped . Morinaga's dead body ... was inside there . And was gonna be buried in the ground . I shuddered at the thought and hurriedly walked to Matsuda's car .

The car ride to the cemetery was short , seeing as it was relatively close to the church . When we arrived at the grave site the casket was already set up onto the lowering device and a crowd had formed around it with the priest standing at the base . I moved over to an empty spot in the corner , with Kanako and Matsuda following behind me . The priest broke the silence ." Before we lay Tetsuhiro Morinaga to rest , let us say a prayer . " As the pastor continued to speak I folded my hands together and closed my eyes .

 _Lord God of Hope we come to you today in deepest grief and with such sadness of heart at the sudden death of such a beloved friend, who was snatched away from us, in such a tragic way._

Thats right ... God took Morinaga away . God let this happen.

 _Lord we know that our times are in your hands but the shock and sadness that the life of this precious person, whom we all love so dearly, was cut short in a so distressing way, fills our hearts with deep pain and sorrow._

Morinaga was precious to me ... and God took him away . I _loved_ Morinaga . And God _**stole**_ him from me . I stiffened slightly at my thoughts . Did I just admit to loving Morinaga ? Did I ... really love him ? I already knew the answer ... yes .

 _Be our comfort in this time of loss and uphold all that are in pain today knowing that you are our God of comfort and the Great Comforter who comforts all that are hurting. Be especially close to the family and those that were nearest and dearest. Give them your peace and assurance that you are with them throughout all their pain - and pour the light of your love into their hurting hearts, in Jesus name we pray,_

 _Amen_

"The God of comfort ?" " Comforts all those who are hurting ...?" I opened my eyes and unclasped my hands , instead balling them into fists at my side. Bullshit. That was a lie ... a cruel and absurd lie ! Where was my comfort ?! God is the reason I'm hurting in the first place ...he let Morinaga die !

Several people stepped forward to lay flowers on top the casket before it began to lower into the ground. After that , people staring walking back to their cars . I looked over at Matsuda and Kanako . " Can I have a minute ?" " Of course ." replied Matsuda before walking away with Kanako . Once there were gone I looked over to the hole were Morinaga now was and burst into spontaneous tears . " I'm sorry ... I didn't mean ... I never wanted this to happen ! " I sank down to my knees . " Morinaga ... it hurts . It hurts so bad! Why did you have to leave me ...you idiot ! " I cried , digging my nails into the grass . " Why ..." Suddenly , a cold breath blew on my ear that sent shivers down my spine .

 ** _" Senpai ."_**

I jolted from my spot and stood upright . I shifted my head from side to side to look for the source of the voice but I was alone . "What the hell ? I could of sworn..." I shook my head before walking back to the car . " _It was just the wind ._

 _ **Hey there ... so um I struggled with this chapter and writing about a funeral so its probably shit . Ive only been to a funeral once when I was ten and don't remember much about it . So yeah this chapter is primarily based on the limited memory I have of it and some internet research . As far as the ending to this story goes ... I do have an ending in mine . And hopefully will be in the next few chapters . I'm sorry if it feels like the story is moving too slow but I wanna make it as least shitty as I possibly can . I hope you won't hate the ending too much . Honestly I'm a little worried since this is my first fanfic that I plan on completing .When I've written fanfics in the past , I ended up deleting them , mostly because I felt that they sucked . However ,I actually want to pull through and finish this one . So thank you for reading and I'll see you next chapter :)**_


	5. Not an update sorry

im sorry this isnt an update

but there will be an update but i just got out of the hospital a few days ago so i need to take some time to work on my mental health

thank you for your patience


	6. Chapter five ( the end )

'Senpai I'm so happy this is our first date as an official couple ! ' Morinaga exclaimed excitedly

as he jogged slightly ahead of me. " Morinaga ! slow down ... wait ... watch out ! "It was too late.A massive truck came rushing towards Morinaga , slamming into him . "Morinaga ! " I shouted as I ran over to his crippled body and pulled him into my arms. "I'm sorry Senpai..." I gritted my teeth in an effort to hold back my tears but failed miserably. "No ! Don't you dare die on me ! Too late ,his eyes fluttered shut. "Morinaga !" I was yanked out of my sleep with a start. Damn it. Another nightmare . Eversince the funeral a month ago , I haven't been able to sleep without dreaming of Morinaga and can't eat without throwing it all back up. And wherever I go I see his face and hear his voice. And not to mention my new lab assistant is a total moron . But no use dwelling on it now . I swung my feet over the side of my bed and walked to my bathroom to get ready to face the cold heart of reality .

Matsuda and Kanako were waiting for me in the kitchen . "Good morning guys ." I said ,taking a seat next to Kanako and across from Matsuda at the kitchen table. When I was met with silence I looked up from my breakfast to see the worried expressions of Kanako and Matsuda. " Nii san , after talking with Matsuda san ... we think it'd be best if you saw a therapist." I narrowed my eyes. "No way . I'm not going. I'm not some crazy person !" " We already made the appointment . You need help Souichi ... you haven't been the same lately." Matsuda replied. I stood up from my chair and walked into room , slamming the door shut . Hmph as if . No way in hell was I going to therapist . I'm not some mentally deranged weirdo .I opened up ky dresser and quickly put on some clothes , I didn't have to leave for fifteen minutes yet but I didn't wanna stick around here. I opened my door and rushed past Matsuda and Kanako.

Twenty minutes later I arrived at the university and my idiot of a lab partner was there already. Times like this I realize how much I took Morinaga for granted . This new guy was constantly breaking things and messing things up despite me explaining over and over how to do things. Morinaga could catch onto things really quickly , not to say he didn't mess up every now and then. Everyone makes mistakes but this new guy is a walking mistake. He just can't do anything right . "Good morning Souichi Kun!" I glared. "Don't call me that and get to work Onodera ." " Of course boss...my apologies." he replied with a quivering voice before turning back to his work . What a baby .

Ten broken beakers and a sore throat from yelling I finally returned home . After evading Matsuda and Kanako , I made into my room . It was only seven pm but damn it I was tired . So damn tired . So I got in my bed , pulling the covers over me and relishing in the warmth . The warmth reminded of Morinaga . Warmth and kindness radiated from him. When he spoke his" voice could reach into the very depths of your soul in a way that even the most emotionally detached person couldn't resist his charming personality . I pulled the cover of the blanket over my head and slipped into a tranquil sleep that I hoped would last forever .

Without warning I was jolted out of my slumber by a cold chill running down my spine. I rolled over to face an intruder . " Morinaga ? No way ... I must still be asleep ." I rolled back over but the intruder started shaking me again. "No ... senpai . It's really me. " I rolled over again to face Morinaga . " But you're dead ... how is this possible ?" I asked nervously. " I'm a ghost Senpai ... I'm not able to go to heaven until I fulfill my purpose here on earth." I sat silent for a few seconds before I reached over to touch Morinaga's shoulder only to have my hand pass right through him . "Okay I believe you ... but how can I help you fulfill your purpose ?" The ghost of Morinaga sighed. " I need to apologize to you Senpai . I raped you and caused you so much pain. Nothing I can say can truly fix things between us but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me . " " Are you an absolute idiot ... I've already forgiven you . And you about the rape thing ... if i seriously wasn't okay with it ... I would have punched your face in . " " Senpai ..." " And another thing ... did you think you being dead would make me happy ... that I'd be okay with that? Well I'm not . My life has been hell without you. " I spoke through my tears.

" Senpai ... are you saying you missed me ? " " Of course ... moron . Is that a problem ?" " No ... not all in fact ... I'm happy." Morinaga's figure began to fade away. "Thank you Senpai." "Wait ! You can't leave me again !!" I shouted , desperately grabbing at his fading image but to no avail. Moments later , he was gone and I was left alone again . How long would he stay away this time ... now that he's fulfilled his purpose or whatever ... does he expect me to just be okay with it ? That I'd be satisfied with never seeing him again? Well I'm not okay with it. And I never will be ...but what can I do ? Maybe ... I can join him. I let out a surpised gasp at the thought. Join him ... in death? Commit suicide ... like he did . What a morbid thought ... there's no way I could actually ... but if I get to see Morinaga again ... it might be worth it .

There's no way I'm actually considering this . Kanako would be devastated for sure. And all of my dreams would be crushed but then again was any of that worth it without Morinaga?

This is the only way I'd ever get the chance to see Morinaga again . And unforunately , the yearning to once again have Morinaga by my side takes precedence at the moment . These were my thoughts as I gazed down at a neatly tied noose that I held tightly in my quivering hands . It seems that I've made up my mind as I stood atop dingy wooden chair and tied the noose to the white ceiling fan in my bedroom before placing it around my neck . I stood still for several minutes before finally kicking the chair out from under me .

When I next awoke , I was in an all white room. Fearing that I was back in the hospital , I jumped up and viciously shook my head from side to side , trying to find a way out . But that turned out to be a lost cause , there's no doors or even windows in this place . I sat back down and huffed in annoyance . This damn place didn't even have chairs . " Hello, is anyone there ?!" I called out . Moments later , I recieved a response . " Senpai ! Is that you senpai?" the voiced called out from the distance . I recongized the voice immediately. It was Morinaga. So if Morinaga is here too ...then that means I'm dead . " Senpai ! It's me !" The voice came closer and closer until I felt two arms embrace me . I flung my arms around Morinaga's neck and sobbed , letting my tears soak his shirt. " Morinaga ... I'm so sorry , after you died I could hardly sleep . And after I saw you again ... I realized I never wanted to let you go again ever . I want you to stay by my side forever . " I looked up at Morinaga with tears in my eyes . " Will you promise me to stay with me always ? " I buried my head back into his shoulder and waited for his reply.

" Of course Senpai . I truly regret leaving you in the first place . Ever since the day I died I was watching over you. I hated having to see you so upset. I wanted so badly to take back what I did and to ease your pain. But I couldn't . And now you've made the same mistake as me . I'm sorry Senpai." I moved my head away from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes before grabbing onto his shirt , pulling him into a kiss . After a few moments , I pulled away. " Idiot. My life wasn't worth living without you ... afterall..." I took a deep breath. " Afterall you are the one I love." Morinaga let out a shocked gasp. " Do...do you really mean that Senpai?" " Yeah I do ... is there a problem with that ?" " Of course not . I was just suprised . I love you too Senpai and I promise I'll never leave you again. " " Damn right you're not leaving me ... say Morinaga where are we anyways ?"

" Oh . This is purgatory. Heaven is this way . Here hop on . " Suddenly a large set of white wings extended from his back . " No way ." I rolled my eyes . There was no fucking way. " I'll stay in purgatory. Thank you very much." Morinaga grinned to himself before taking off . " Alright see ya there Senpai ." " Wait a minute ! get back here asshat! " I yelled chasing after him and yanking him back by the leg of his jeans . " Had a change of heart I see . " Morinaga laughed . " Shut the fuck up ."

The end

I hope you all enjoyed the story and be on the look out for new stories from me . Thank you all for reading and leaving reviews ... it truly does mean alot to me


	7. Not an update

**Hey guys i decided to make the ending in chapter five i hope you enjoy it**


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